99 Apples Review – Sounds Good, Right?

Hopefully you reached this 99 Apples Review before you tried it. I might have just saved you. 🙂 Reviewing foods and drinks can be extremely tough considering everyone has vastly different tastes. As for this review of the alcoholic drink 99 Apples, I think it will be a different story. If for some reason you are the minority and disagree with my review, feel free to post a comment telling me what you think. 😉

For around $16 you get yourself a 750 mL bottle of 99 Apples, 99 Berries, 99 Bananas or whatever other “flavors” they’ve made. Seems like a steal, right? Don’t get your hopes up. If I’ve learned anything about alcohol it’s that you NEVER buy the cheap, bottom shelf stuff. Yes, $16 for 750 mL is considered cheap when we’re considering any kind of hard alcohol.

99 Apples is an 99 proof schnapps, meaning it has 49.5% alcohol content, even the best and most expensive alcoholic beverages don’t necessarily have great “taste” at that level, but this one takes it to a whole new level. I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand why it’s named Apples. If it had even a slight apple flavor I think I’d give it a pass but this stuff doesn’t resemble even a minute apple taste. Honestly, the name should definitely be changed ASAP. 99 Burn or 99 Battery Acid would suit it much better.

The Bottom Line

I wouldn’t recommend 99 Apples or any other “flavor” to anyone. If you’re able to down a shot of this and keep it down I’ll give ya props, one thing I will say though is you have terrible taste in alcohol. I tried this once and will never try it again. The bottom line, stick to the top shelf. 🙂

UPDATE (4/1/23): Time flies, and I thought it’d be fair to give 99 Apples another shot (pun intended) since my initial review. So, has my opinion changed, or do I have any new insights to share?

While I don’t have quite as negative of an opinion about it as I did before, I still wouldn’t say it’s my go-to choice for a drink. I’ve discovered that 99 Apples can be somewhat more palatable when it’s heavily mixed with something else. The right mixers can help balance out its potent flavor and make it more enjoyable.

That being said, I must admit that I would still take most other alcohol options over this. There are simply better-tasting alternatives available, especially if you venture towards the top shelf.

So, the updated verdict: 99 Apples might not be as bad as I initially thought, but there’s still plenty of room for improvement. If you’re feeling adventurous and want to experiment with mixers, it could be worth a try. However, my recommendation remains to explore and check out the abundance of other alcoholic beverages out there.

Cheers to finding the perfect drink! 🙂